It's a Pixie thing...

Upon my web travels I happened upon a discussion about "sex accidents" people have had the misfortune to suffer.
Some of them are so funny that I had to share them.

*Note none of them are based upon personal experience...

The Question :

"I know we've all had them. Those moments that happen when we're flushed with passion. Those moments we wish we could take back. Farting during sex. Forgetting you had your boyfriend tied up and leaving him in the room while you talk on the phone for hours. I told my little story already about my birthday night when my friend forgot to bring the keys for the handcuffs and I was stuck for close to 2 hours while he drove to get them. Just thought I'd see if anyone else had something to share."

How could you just "forget " that you have a guy tied up in the bedroom LOL

"In the midst of some fierce thrusting, I accidentally pulled out, and on the next thrust I hit solid bed and damn near snapped my d**k in half. I cried. The end."

Ouch!

"I once spread peanut butter on an ex-boyfriends balls, and his dog got a hold of him. He was walking carefully for weeks. It was cruel, but I dumped him afterwards, cuz I wasn't sure he could ever have children."

Why ?

"I was returning from a concert of some friends of mine that had just gotten their big break and played a pretty prestigious music hall in the city (San Francisco) and my Girlfriend at the time was pretty young and had a curfew time that was long past when we finally got out of the show. So I am zooming across the Bay Bridge to get back to the east bay, and she realized she was going straight home, so she decides to help me out of my pants and ease my tension while I drive... Well it failed to ease my tension and instead it managed to tripple it, as I heard the sound of metal to metal and snapped out of it enough to realize i had just made contact with the Frost-ing bridge. I hit a shoulder or curb first and that let the air out of two tires, and one hard-on real fast. Funny part was there was a huge tow truck on the scene before I even had my pants back up I think, and he told me that he was able to see in through my sunroof a ways back, and decided to follow, as he felt I might be soon needing his assistance.
I thought someone was gonna have my ass that night for sure, but the old tow truck driver worked for Cal-Trans, and when the Highway Patrol rolled up, they knew I was drunk, and were ready to take me away, when the tow truck driver took them to the side and I guess explained what he saw, cause I saw a bunch of them laughing, and stepping back and looking at me, and then her, etc...
Not sure what he said, but they came back, and uncuffed me, and allowed me to ride with the tow truck driver and my GF to the other side of the bridge, where I thanked him endlessly"

"he told me that he was able to see in through my sunroof a ways back, and decided to follow, as he felt I might be soon needing his assistance." LOL

"Mrs. W. had a bed with a cast-iron frame in the apartment she lived in before we got married. So one night we were romping in that bed, and decided to flip from the male superior position to the female superior position. Instead of rolling side to side, I picked her up by the hips and flipped us over backwards (it was a narrow bed, you see). So with her weight now on top of me, I fall back onto the bed and whack the back of my head against the cast iron footboard.

There was no bleeding and the concussion was fairly mild.

A couple of weeks later we were hitting it doggy style and her hands must have slipped because she fell forward and hit the same place with the top of her head. She got a nice lump there, but didn't lose consciousness.

We wear hockey helmets to bed now."

"My parents were freshly married when one day my dad was laying on the couch watching tv... naked. My mom was acting the part of Susie Homemaker, cleaning and vacuuming. As she neared the couch with the vacuum, she thought she'd have a little fun with my dad, so she took the attachment off the hose. Next thing she knew, she heard something like "schluuurp" as my dad's member was sucked into the vacuum. She only tugged a few times before realizing it'd be better to turn off the vacuum, *then* pull."

Could have been really nasty if it was a Dyson which never looses its suction....

"Ok fine. There was this one time where my b/f dared me to do my worst with the cat-o-nine tails.

I did what he asked, broke all nine tails on his ass and left him with welts. He knew better next time."

This is my favorite, that will teach him Heh...

The questioners response: